I know, this title is going to trigger most of the parents out there. How am I suppose to know how to treat your child right without having a child my own? Simple, understanding the perspective of your child.
Not everything is based on past tense, trends are faster than lightning. You can discipline your children the traditional way. You obey and do not talk back to your parents back in the days but children nowadays gets on your nerves just because they understand the definition of defense and their own perspective. It doesn't matter if their wrong or right, understand they are making a choice in defense, circumstances is up to them to handle. Talk it out, not putting fault by correcting them. Let them know the circumstances. If you can't bear seeing them falling, your child is going to fail the rest of their life in this harsh reality.
Here are some tips I wish to share with you, if you would stop being so ignorant.
Verbal Abuse
This is common in Asian country. Parents way of thinking is...this will trigger your child to be a better person. But think again, hearing all this harmful words from someone who is the closest to you is not "It's for your own good". Example such as "useless", this is a very strong word that can change a child's thinking. This tradition has been passing on, it is slowly fading away because a lot of grown up kids experienced it and they didn't want it to happen on their own child. Ignorant parents will find no fault and continue trigger their kids. I repeat, calling your child useless will not make them useful. They need support.
Comparing
There is no fault in comparing. Because the world is competitive, kids needs to be train. What I meant is in a healthy way. Children has the most pure and sensitive heart, it is up to you as a parents how are you going to raise them, in such competitive world.
Dear children,
There will be kids who are smarter than you, there will be kids who are more unfortunate than you. You may look up at smarter kids but never look down at unfortunate kids. If you're happy with your result, I am happy for you. If you're not, we will try harder.
Let your kids be curious if they don't study hard, do not remind them. You may play around with them and say "If you're ever wondering what's the purpose of studying, you can ask daddy or mummy anytime." Make them question you, not questioning them when they are at their worst. And the answer is, study allows you to gain more knowledge so you will not get bully in future, because you will then know how to self defense. Most importantly, you will be able to express yourself. NEVER EVER JUMP TO CONCLUSION LIKE, you will earn more money by studying hard. #bullshit
Use your words wisely
Instead of "give it to her", you may say "Please offer some of your goods to her".
Instead of "enough of excuses", you may say "could you please elaborate".
Its all about the correct way of expressing. If your child fail to express, give them time. Do not pressure them, this is a training. Do not raise your voice (they will hear it very soon from the harsh reality, most important is not from someone who your kids are closest to), though it was unintentionally. Apologies when you're suppose to politely even if you're an adult. Kids has dignity, everyone has it.
Let them express
It doesn't matter if it right or wrong. After your child has finished expressing, appreciate and be thankful. For example, "thank you for sharing your thoughts". Keep questioning them without pressure, ask them as if its voicing out from you. No matter how small its matters are, talk it out. Quit saying "you'll find out when you grow up", quit jumping to conclusion. Let them ask more step by step, if you start to feel frustrated. Congratulation, you have just created a barrier that will never be gone.
Status
Always update your child on your status no matter how young they are, they will be curious. Let them know in a way they can understand. Turn it into a story, how brave you were defeating a monster during work. How horrible the monster was. It is somehow distressing. As they grow older, they will understand your intention. Tell them your financial, make a secret between you two. "Mummy is out of gold this month, because I gave it to the angels so they could protect you from harm." Make up something that could make your child feel less left out. This is a way of showing love, not hiding anything.
After reading this, you will be either continue being ignorant or improve yourself. I am not alluding any parents out there neither my parents, it is based on facts. In another way of saying, it leads to tradition culture which you couldn't really control. Thank you for reading once again, I will see you tomorrow.
PS, I will be heading off to Singapore tomorrow and good news there will be video vloging very soon! Can't wait to share it with you all.
Not everything is based on past tense, trends are faster than lightning. You can discipline your children the traditional way. You obey and do not talk back to your parents back in the days but children nowadays gets on your nerves just because they understand the definition of defense and their own perspective. It doesn't matter if their wrong or right, understand they are making a choice in defense, circumstances is up to them to handle. Talk it out, not putting fault by correcting them. Let them know the circumstances. If you can't bear seeing them falling, your child is going to fail the rest of their life in this harsh reality.
Here are some tips I wish to share with you, if you would stop being so ignorant.
Verbal Abuse
This is common in Asian country. Parents way of thinking is...this will trigger your child to be a better person. But think again, hearing all this harmful words from someone who is the closest to you is not "It's for your own good". Example such as "useless", this is a very strong word that can change a child's thinking. This tradition has been passing on, it is slowly fading away because a lot of grown up kids experienced it and they didn't want it to happen on their own child. Ignorant parents will find no fault and continue trigger their kids. I repeat, calling your child useless will not make them useful. They need support.
Comparing
There is no fault in comparing. Because the world is competitive, kids needs to be train. What I meant is in a healthy way. Children has the most pure and sensitive heart, it is up to you as a parents how are you going to raise them, in such competitive world.
Dear children,
There will be kids who are smarter than you, there will be kids who are more unfortunate than you. You may look up at smarter kids but never look down at unfortunate kids. If you're happy with your result, I am happy for you. If you're not, we will try harder.
Let your kids be curious if they don't study hard, do not remind them. You may play around with them and say "If you're ever wondering what's the purpose of studying, you can ask daddy or mummy anytime." Make them question you, not questioning them when they are at their worst. And the answer is, study allows you to gain more knowledge so you will not get bully in future, because you will then know how to self defense. Most importantly, you will be able to express yourself. NEVER EVER JUMP TO CONCLUSION LIKE, you will earn more money by studying hard. #bullshit
Use your words wisely
Instead of "give it to her", you may say "Please offer some of your goods to her".
Instead of "enough of excuses", you may say "could you please elaborate".
Its all about the correct way of expressing. If your child fail to express, give them time. Do not pressure them, this is a training. Do not raise your voice (they will hear it very soon from the harsh reality, most important is not from someone who your kids are closest to), though it was unintentionally. Apologies when you're suppose to politely even if you're an adult. Kids has dignity, everyone has it.
Let them express
It doesn't matter if it right or wrong. After your child has finished expressing, appreciate and be thankful. For example, "thank you for sharing your thoughts". Keep questioning them without pressure, ask them as if its voicing out from you. No matter how small its matters are, talk it out. Quit saying "you'll find out when you grow up", quit jumping to conclusion. Let them ask more step by step, if you start to feel frustrated. Congratulation, you have just created a barrier that will never be gone.
Status
Always update your child on your status no matter how young they are, they will be curious. Let them know in a way they can understand. Turn it into a story, how brave you were defeating a monster during work. How horrible the monster was. It is somehow distressing. As they grow older, they will understand your intention. Tell them your financial, make a secret between you two. "Mummy is out of gold this month, because I gave it to the angels so they could protect you from harm." Make up something that could make your child feel less left out. This is a way of showing love, not hiding anything.
After reading this, you will be either continue being ignorant or improve yourself. I am not alluding any parents out there neither my parents, it is based on facts. In another way of saying, it leads to tradition culture which you couldn't really control. Thank you for reading once again, I will see you tomorrow.
PS, I will be heading off to Singapore tomorrow and good news there will be video vloging very soon! Can't wait to share it with you all.
